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BSCHletterssmall

Surrey Hypnosis

 Clinical hypnotherapist DipHPsych, Lmpa,GHsc D.hyp,BSCH (Assoc.) GHR reg.Swpp .

Kevin White

 

Relationship and sexual problems is one of the most sensitive issues to deal with. Nevertheless it cannot be brushed under the carpet just because it is embarrassing and such a personal matter. Each client is unique. Not one size fits all. I take an eclectic approach, designing and moulding the therapy to what is best for you. Sometimes a gentle approach is needed to get over and break down the negative demons which are causing the problem. On other occasion a more robust direct approach is needed to take on and beat those demons. On our initial consultation I will appraise the problem and will work out the best way forward in dealing with these highly sensitive issues.

 

Sleep Problems

It is important to establish if the cause of any sexual problem is not physical, prior to therapy. Please consult your doctor.

hypnoanalysis, as a specialist form of hypnotherapy, is very effective and gentle at resolving many sexual problems quickly and easily.

Of course, sexuality is more than a means of reproduction in humans and serves other important purposes.

 

The more frequently experienced sexual problems which have a mind componentare discussed briefly in what follows.

Premature Ejaculation

This is a very common sexual problem in men, particularly those under 40 years old. It can occasionally occur with most men, commonly because of over stimulation or anxiety about sexual performance. It is broadly defined as when the man reaches orgasm in less than two minutes from penetration, or penetration is not achieved before orgasm. Surveys have shown that the average time for penetrative sex is about six minutes.

If premature ejaculation occurs frequently, the cause may be psychological. This condition may be triggered by fear, habit, guilt, or performance anxiety. Also it can arise due to sexual inexperience, or when the male is over stimulated typically in the early stages of a relationship.

Should premature ejaculation occur frequently, this can create a sense of failure and lower the man’s sexual confidence. A habit has been formed.

Impotence

This is also known as Male Erectile Disorder or Erectile Dysfunction and is the most common male sexual disorder. It is where a man finds difficulty in having an erection, or can’t sustain an erection during sexual activity.

In most cases, impotence is caused by psychological factors. A long-standing problem may be linked to feelings of anxiety and guilt that originated in childhood. Impotence may also be a symptom of severe depression.

Since an erection is an involuntary response - influenced by the subconscious mind and outside of conscious thought - the more a man tries to will himself to have an erection the worse it becomes. What the man expects to happen – what’s happened in the past, be it success or failure will often repeat - will tend to consolidating as a habit.

As stated, impotence may be triggered by psychological factors or combined psychological and physical factors. It might occur in some settings only, or in all settings. It could occur only in response to specific, or trigger point conditions. Frequently, it is associated with anxiety and fear of failure and may be temporary or of lifelong duration. In the minority of cases (about 10%) there will be a physical cause.

Orgasmic Dysfunction

This is the inability to achieve orgasm during sexual activity. It is a very common condition (Anorgasmia) which is reported more in women than men; even though they might actually enjoy sex they sadly don’t reach a climax. This could be due to an inhibition in sexual desire, or from an inability to become sufficiently aroused. Each could be of psychological origin; including anxiety, deep-seated guilt feelings, early sexual trauma or fear of ‘losing control’ during orgasm.

Also anxiety about sexual performance may inhibit orgasm, which sets a cycle of failure. Up to 50% of women will experience this on occasions. Sometime a woman might have both anorgasmia and the added condition of vaginismus (see below) to overcome.

Vaginismus

This is where the woman finds sex penetration painful, or even impossible, due to involuntary muscular contractions surrounding the entrance to the vagina. This occurs in women who fear that penetration will be painful. Penetration is then not the pleasure it should be, since the pelvic muscles have tightened and virtually closed the vagina entrance.

Symptoms include genital pain, loss of sex drive, lowered self-esteem, fear of penetration, painful sex, anxiety and depression. A traumatic experience may have initially created a cycle of anxiety for the spasm to become established.

Frigidity (Hypoactive Sexual Desire disorder)

This condition is a general loss of desire to experience sex, or inability to become aroused during sexual intercourse, or even blocking out thoughts on sexual matters. The term has in the past been used in the female context, but this is now discouraged. Clearly, this condition can potentially cause disharmony in a relationship.

Sexual Aversion (Lack of Sexual Enjoyment)

Although intercourse can occur, no pleasure is enjoyed or experienced from sexual activity.

Orgasmic Dysfunction

With this, orgasm either does not occur at all or there is unusual delay. With women it is often the case that orgasm does not occur under certain situations, or with particular partners.
However, orgasm might occur during sleep but never in waking hours.
Orgasm may never happen in the presence of the partner.
Orgasm can occur when the partner is there but only through oral sex and not during penetrative intercourse.
Habits can play a major part in consolidating this condition.

Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)

This can occur in both sexes. In women it is similar to Vaginismus, although the pain is not purely due to a lack of vaginal lubrication. The pain can be superficial (around the external genitals) or deep (within the pelvis). Any physical reasons for discomfort should first be investigated. Beyond this, there is the possibility that there is a psychological origin.

Nymphomania (being over sexed)

In contrast to the previous conditions, this is a psychosexual disorder (of course, some people might not consider this to be a disorder!) in which a woman is dominated by an insatiable appetite for sexual activity with numerous different male partners.

The term is usually used in describing women. Men may be seen as sex objects. Either the individual finds sex to be very enjoyable in itself, or sex is used specifically to reduce anxiety. Nymphomania is thought to be an expression of some deep seated psychological disorder. The equivalent behaviour in men is called satyriasis or Don Juanism. It is thought to be caused by selflove or, conversely, feelings of inferiority.

Sexual Inhibitions (barriers to sex)

There are many physical and psychological reasons for a person to feel inhibited about sexual matters. Low libido (low sex drive, loss of sex drive, lack of interest in sex) can clearly cause disharmony within most relationships.

Psychological factors include depression, anxiety, severe stress, unsatisfactory relationship with a sexual partner, grief, poor self image, feelings of sex being unclean or wrong, fear of being sexually experimental, guilt and shame, or a traumatic sexual experience such as rape or incest.


Fetishes (unusual fixations)

Sexual arousal is fixated on certain objects such as shoes, gloves, rubber or leather garments, feet, ears, body restraints. There may or may not be a person involved. Once orgasm has been reached using the fetish item, it becomes increasingly difficult to obtain sexual satisfaction without it. Cross dressing, or excessive use of pornography might also be involved. The origin of such interests can often be a fixation of such sexual interests in childhood - an early stimulating experience.

Treatments for Sexual Problems

The most effective method of permanently resolving sexual problems is hypnoanalysis. This is a natural process where, under hypnosis, the subconscious mind is progressively allowed to release the root cause of the problem.

 

Here are just a few comments from recent clients

 

Thank you Kevin for helping me to deal with my quite personnel embarrassing issues in a sensitive and gentle manner. My life now and in the future will be is so much better now

Anne ( name changed for privacy )  Epsom

Thanks so much, you changed my life, After just two sessions with you I now enjoy all the things I used to feel so  guilty about. Your understanding manner is a credit to the hypnotherapy profession.

Sandra (name changed for privacy) Kingston

Kevin has helped  me  deal with the difficulties that have been bothering me for so many years. He’s given me my confidence back together with a more positive outlook for the future.  I felt relaxed as soon as I met him. He is kind and caring, especially when dealing with such difficult and sensitive issues as mine, which are now behind me.

Janet ( name changed for privacy ) Surbiton.

Thankyou Kevin for giving me my confidence back and able to deal with my problems after years of others trying.

AJ Fetcham

 

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